The Killing Moon

Going to the cemetary was something I'd been doing since I was a child. I'd always enjoyed the peaceful solitude I found there. It had earned me a few less than kind nicknames in the town I lived in, occupied by hypocritical zealots that thought wearing black and having an appreciation for death was unnatural. I called it balance.

On that day, something inside of me changed. Something in the sky above my head changed. It was a feeling of excitement and dread all at once. I didn't see anyone else when I stepped over the battered down fence that had encircled the graves ever since before my grandmother was a child. Usually when families were here, I knew it because they would get into the car as fast as they could when they saw me coming and speed off, muttering under their breaths about heathens and the taint that I carried with me. I never understood how black lipstick or eyeliner was tainted.

One minute he wasn't there and the next he was, standing in the moonlight. It had only just rained and the scent of it was still heavy in the air, mingling with his clove cigarette. I'd never seen him before and that was unusual. He looked like someone I'd dreamed about once. He was my dream. His short black hair was spiked liberally. It was one of the first things I could tell about him from behind. I kept walking toward him, inexplicably pulled by a force I would never understand. I was staring unabashedly when he turned to me. It was unexpected when he smiled at me. It was a dazzling smile. One of the nicest I'd seen. It was genuine. Those feelings of excitement and dread I'd had before only intensified when I saw that doomed smile. He looked like he'd known me my whole life and like he'd been waiting for me. I felt like that too.

"Hi." It was his simple greeting, somehow enough to send a shock of shivers down my spine. His voice was deeper than I'd expected. He had dark eyes that bordered on the blackness of his hair, his bangs hanging down near his eyes. His nose was thin and his lips almost too big for his face. He wasn't masculine or feminine. He hung in the balance.

"Hi." It was all I could say back.

"Nice day. Do you think it's going to rain again?"

"Maybe. You're not from around here, are you?"

"That obvious, huh?" He asked. We both had to laugh. The black trenchcoat he wore was uncommon around these parts, let alone the rest of his black ensemble.

"There's only one person around here that looks like you do and that's me. I've never seen you here before, so I assume that you're either luckily passing through or that unluckily you're here to take care of someone in your family... or even more unluckily, you've moved here, in which case I offer my condolences."

"Just passing through." Even though I didn't want someone resigned to the same fate that I had been given, the ache of disappointment spread into my chest. I nodded for a moment and cast my eyes downward, thinking of something to say when he came closer toward me and offered me the half-smoked cigarette right out of his mouth. I took it and took a puff, raising my eyes to him. He stared into mine with a tenacity that I
couldn't at the time put my finger on.

"Lived here all your life, have you?"

"Not in the graveyard, but close. Yes, I've lived in this town my whole life."

"Then I offer my condolences. What is it that you want to do in life?"

I was caught off guard by his question. I hadn't expected to be swapping deep meaningful conversation so early on, but I'd hoped that we eventually would. "That's sort of a loaded question, don't you think? I don't even know your name and you're already asking me what it is I want to do in life. Are you some kind of college recruiter? If you are, I have to give you an A for effort but you're a few years too late for this one, I fear."

He chuckled and shook his head. "No, not a college recruiter. It's just not every day I find someone like you, Jewel."

"How do you know my name? What do you mean, 'someone like me'?" Now I was on edge. He was close enough to press his nose against mine.

"When I went to the gas station, the towns people were all too eager to tell me about how there was someone else like me. They gave me your address and everything."

"Fucking typical..." I muttered underneath my breath. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hmm, someone like you. I suppose it was a broad statement. Sorry."

"You're a little infuriating."

"And yet you're not walking away."

A silence fell over the two of us as he stared into my eyes. He smelled like cloves and chai and something boyish that I couldn't put my finger on. He reached out to brush my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. I didn't pull away, but my breath caught in my throat. For a moment I was frozen. I threw the clove down without ever having taken a puff, putting it out underneath my boot.

"You don't deserve to live and die somewhere this... tragic." He smiled again and I felt my legs moving backward. I was pinned then against a large statue of an angel with him pressing against me. I could feel his hand moving down to take mine.

"What do I deserve then?" I asked him with wide eyes, my heart beating wildly. I knew my breathing was getting erratic even though I was trying to be as calm as I could. My veneer was cracking bit by bit with him staring at me. I could tell he was enjoying making me so uncomfortable. Not that uncomfortable was an accurate word for it either.

"This." He murmured, leaning in to kiss me. His lips were soft but cold. His breath against my face felt like the caress of winter wind. His arms cradled me from behind as I lost the feeling in my knees. I started to get light-headed as my breathing came slower and slower. I opened my eyes to see that full moon reflected in his own, staring at me as intently as he had as he broke away and propped me up against the angel statue.

His eyes were the last thing I saw then as he crouched in front of me and reached into his trench coat pocket. From it he pulled a red rose and placed it in my hand, kissing my forehead one last time before he leaned back, the moon shining down into those inky black eyes and the abyss within.